Lord Bonkers' Diary: The Stilton Path? I don't believe a word of it

To be honest, I'm inclined to believe the account of these events given in The Stilton Path, but as my rent falls due on Lady Day I shall keep schtum. At least it's pleasing to see the Well-Behaved Orphans are still passing samizdat copies of The Wooden Horse and The Colditz Story amongst themselves.

Friday

Have you come across a book called The Stilton Path? It purports to be the true story of a couple who walked all the way round Rutland Water because they had lost their money and one of them had the galloping lurgi, but I didn’t believe a word of it. 

For instance, I will admit that my old friend Ruttie, the Rutland Water Monster, can be playful, even a little naughty, but I have never known her “attack” anyone. Similarly, the author did not witness an “escape attempt” by the WBOs but a gymnastic display using a vaulting horse of the boys’ own design. And before anyone accuses me of sexism, let me emphasise that the girls were in the attic putting the finishing touches to a glider they too had dreamt up. 

Finally, the Wise Woman of Wing has never “put a curse on” anyone, though I admit her language can tend to the salty if you don’t pay within the stated 14 days.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Earlier this week

• "Death to the Duke of Rutland’s Militia"
• The intelligence services like to recruit orphans
• "It’s only a few thousand quid each"
• "Ah, but we’re serious about being serious"