Lord Bonkers' Diary: Dallas and its notorious School Book Suppository

And so a new week at Bonkers Hall begins. A few months ago, the old boy was on the roof of St Asquith's in case Kemi Badenoch turned up: this time we find him on the roof of the Hall itself. And he's no happier about Freddie and Fiona's weekend cottage on his estate.

Monday

You will rarely hear me defend Donald Trump. As far as I’m concerned, the sooner he visits Dallas and its notorious School Book Suppository the better. Nevertheless, I declined to join the Dutch concert of ridicule that greeted his appearance on the roof of the White House the other day, for I am often to be found on the roof of Bonkers Hall myself. 

Up here, I can keep an eye out for Well-Behaved Orphans trying to scale the wall, make sure Meadowcroft is not slacking and scan the horizon in case the Duke of Rutland is up to his old tricks. This afternoon I’m enjoying the sight of muckspreading taking place on the fields next to Freddie and Fiona’s weekend cottage. 

You may say this is unseasonal, but I’m told the pair were talking in the Bonkers Arms the other evening of taking a ”cheeky midweek break”, so it seems exceedingly well timed to me.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.