Sunday, June 06, 2021

Lord Bonkers' Diary: The length and breadth of these islands

So Lord Bonkers is off on his travels. I don't know how often we shall hear from him in future.

I have been a full-time carer for my mother since Christmas and am finding it hard to spare the time to do anything else - even to act as the old boy's literary secretary.

So I have decided that Lord Bonkers and I are to part our ways, at least for a little while. It may be that he will send me postcards as he makes his journey - I don't know.

Lord Bonkers adds:

Wherever they's a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever they's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there. Wherever there's a winnable by-election, I'll be there.


If St Asquith’s were open as usual I should have urged the Revd Hughes to hold a service of thanksgiving for Albert’s efforts, taking some lines from Job as the text for his sermon:

Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane? Do you make him leap like a locust, striking terror with his proud snorting? He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength, and charges into the fray. He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; he does not shy away from the sword.

Soon, as the Covid virus departs with its tale between its legs, we shall be able to enjoy such pleasures again, and I have thought of the perfect way of taking advantage of this regained freedom. I shall travel the length and breadth of these islands and write a book about my experiences. 

Ed Davey was supposed to be undertaking such a journey, but as far as one can tell got no further than his local fried fish shop and Auchtermuchty Zoo, so I shall instead take my inspiration from Dame Peggy Ashcroft’s Beyond Westminster, which saw its author venturing into more challenging locales than this. 

There is no doubt about it: as well as being one of the greatest actresses of her generation, she was the finest leader the Liberal Democrats ever had.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

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