I heard this mentioned on a podcast about The Sound of Music and have now come across it online. It's by Melinda Taub and you'll find it at McSweeney’s.
It's the kind of piece you want to reproduce in full, but I have limited myself to a couple of short quotations:
I must confess to being rather blindsided by the end of our relationship. It seems Captain Von Trapp and I misunderstood each other. I assumed he was looking for a wife of taste and sophistication, who was a dead ringer for Tippi Hedren; instead he wanted to marry a curtain-wearing religious fanatic who shouts every word she says.
And:
While I was a bit startled to be thrown aside for someone who flunked out of nun school, I assure you that I will be fine, and my main pursuits in life shall continue to be martinis, bon mots, and looking fabulous. You’ll also be glad to know I have retained custody of the Captain’s hard-drinking gay friend, Max. Anyone who gets tired of sing-a-longs should feel free to look us up.
Illustration by courtesy of Monty Python.
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