And that means it's time to spend another week with Rutland's most popular fictional peer. When I first mentioned the Well-Behaved Orphans' summer holiday in the pages of Liberator, Marcus Trescothick was a 14-year-old playing alongside his father for the Keynsham club in Bristol. In those days the WBOs went to a different Cornish resort: Trebilcock Bay.
Monday
I write these words in a deckchair on the sands of Trescothick Bay, the Cornish resort where I always bring the Well-Behaved Orphans for their summer holiday. As I watch, the mites are scaling the cliffs their predecessors have always declared to be "better than a chimbley", while Cook, who has accompanied us this time, is searching the rock pools for "sea anomalies".
One advantage of being away from the Hall and Westminster is that I am no longer being pestered by Liberal Democrat HQ about what has become of Freddie and Fiona. Between you and me, gentle reader, I rather thought they had been burnt alive in a giant wicker hare by the Elves of Rockingham Forest at Beltane, but just before I left for Cornwall I overheard two young elves complaining that the "penguin ladies" had turned up at the eleventh hour to spoil their fun.
Can it be that the sisters from the Convent of Our Lady of the Ballot Boxes rescued F&F from the flames? I shall pump Sister Sid on my return to Rutland.
Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.
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