The late David Chidgey, I should explain, as well as being MP for Eastleigh from 1994 to 2005, was in 1996 the pilot of the Liberal Democrats' own spacecraft Bird of Liberty. He was eventually rescued from a tropical island paradise after being downed in a collision with a Russian (or Commonwealth of Independent States) satellite.
His son, also called David Chidgey, is the chief presenter of one of my favourite podcasts, Chelsea Fancast.
Friday
As evening falls the Bird of Liberty appears once again above the chimney pots and pinnacles of Bonkers Hall. “Young Ashport want you to go to Mars,” I call up to the gallant Chidgey, “it seems they've found life up there.” “The engines will never take it, your lordship” he replies. “Nonsense man,” I return, “there could be votes in it. You'll just have to pedal faster.”
Perhaps my admonition has some effect, for the wings do seem to be flapping a little more vigorously as the craft disappears over the horizon.
Whether it is possible to adapt conventional polling day organisation to weightless conditions remains a moot point, but anyone who has seen the film Independence Day will be only too aware of the need for liberal values to be introduced to the less enlightened parts of the Galaxy.
Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.
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