Saturday, August 16, 2014

Lord Bonkers' Diary: An inflatable Julian Huppert


Not liking the sound of this Data Retention and Investigatory Powers Bill - "I am a Liberal and I am against this sort of thing," as my old friend Clarence “Frogman” Wilcock used to say – I attend a Westminster press conference where Clegg is explaining his support for it. I turn up early to be sure of a good seat, and who should I find arranging the stage set but his special advisers Freddie and Fiona?

They are taking turns with a bicycle pump, attempting to get some air into a large balloon that has had a collection of bristles stuck on it. “Whatever is that, you two?” I ask. “It’s an inflatable Julian Huppert,” they explain. “Because everyone is being so unfair about Nick and seems to love Julian, we thought we would bring this along so Nick can hide behind it when he makes his case today. But it seems to have a slow puncture.”

Just then the pump parts company from the valve in the inflatable Huppert, which proceeds to deflate with an all too familiar sound. “I am afraid you have Julian down,” I observe. “Though, come to think of it, perhaps he has let himself down?”

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary:


Anonymous said...

(On the Lib Dem blogs this came just below a quote from the late Lauren Bacall "I'm a total liberal and proud of it!")

Kilian Bourke said...

Very funny! But I think Julian made the best he could of an impossible situation. Had he not become involved something much more damaging would undoubtedly have been proposed, and passed by our parliamentary party. It would have been better for Julian to improve the package and then to vote against it on principle, but unfortunately I don't think that's how the parliamentary machine works. You either get involved and eat the consequences, or sod off, is my impression.