Friday, September 18, 2015

Lord Bonkers' Diary: On the even side of the street


A telephone call summons me back from a meeting of the Trustees of the Royal Opera House, Oakham. When I arrive at the Hall I find a ground floor window in the East Wing broken and a number of precious items missing: a signed photograph of Googie Withers (signed by Desmond Banks, I might add); a 1906 Wisden that lists every Liberal victory at that year’s general election including, as it happens my own; an early prototype of the shuttleworth press, which I have offered to more than one museum; and much else besides (whatever my insurers may later claim).

When I telephone the local constabulary I am asked: “Does your house have an odd or an even number?” “It doesn’t have a number, you booby,” I reply hotly, “it’s the Hall.”  It transpires that Leicestershire Police have a policy of investigating burglaries only in houses with an even number. I think this an outrage, but when I raise the subject with my literary secretary (who occasionally helps me prepare these diaries for the press) he says he is “seriously relaxed” about this initiative.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary...

No comments: