Lord Bonkers writes exclusively for Liberal England:
Congratulations to Her Most Gracious Majesty on her setting of a new record.
It happens that I was presented to Queen Victoria as a boy. I wore my sailor suit: she had a stubbly chin, a strong German accent and Army boots peeking out from under her skirts.
"Look at old Grandpa Loony," she exclaimed, pointing to a Morland of George III. "I bet he vas sick ven I broke his record!"
Like Len Hutton or Bob Beamon (to whom she bore a passing resemblance), she must have thought that she had put the record out of reach, but time makes fools of us all.
This seems an appropriate time to remind readers that my great great grandmother's brother
refused to shave off his beard for Queen Victoria.
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