Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Parliamentary Idiot of the Day

Parliament has only been back for a day and we already seen a prime piece of idiocy.

A little improbably, Sir Stuart Bell (sometime author of the steamy Paris 69) was answering questions on behalf of the Church Commissioners. Here is the supplementary from Mark Pritchard, Tory MP for The Wrekin:
Does the hon. Gentleman agree that bishops should be appointed on their spiritual and administrative attributes and skills, not time served? If so, what is the Church doing to recognise such skills earlier in those clergymen who have not served 20 or30 years?
Where to begin? Perhaps by asking what "spiritual skills" are supposed to be. And if you must have bishops, isn't wisdom one of the attributes they ought to possess? And doesn't that usually come with age?

That is the sort of truth that Conservatives used to understand. No longer apparently. Instead, Pritchard dreams of fast-tracking thrusting young vicars into mitres before they turn 30.

The man is a fool. I predict he will be in the shadow cabinet before the year is out.


Will said...

I'm concerned that the appointments process for bishops is biased against atheists.

Onlinefocus Team said...

Sounds like he wants a bishop like the one in Monty Python:


Exterior beautiful English church. Birds singing, a hymn being sung. Suddenly, sound of a high-powered car roaring towards the church. Screech of tires as a huge open-top American car screeches to a halt outside the church. The bishop leaps out. Behind him (as throughout the film) are his four henchmen... vicars with dark glasses. They wear clerical suits and dog collars. They leap out of their car and race up the drive towards the church. As they do so the hymn is heard to come to an end. Sound of people sitting down.

Cut to interior of church. Vicar climbing up into pulpit. Cut back to exterior. The bishop and his vicars racing through the doors. Interior of church. Shot of vicar in pulpit.

Vicar I take as my text for today...
Cut to bishop and vicars at doorway.

Bishop The text, vic! Don't say the text!

Cut back to vicar.

Vicar Leviticus 3-14. . .

The pulpit explodes. Vicar disappears in smoke, flying up into the air. Cut to close-up of the bishop. Behind him there is smoke and people rushing about. Sound of people scrambling over pews in panic etc.

Bishop We was too late. The Reverend Grundy bit the ceiling.

The end of the bishop's crook suddenly starts flashing. He lifts the flashing end off and it stops. Using it like a telephone receiver, he speaks into the staff.
Bishop Hello? ... What?... We'll be right over!

James Graham (Quaequam Blog!) said...

I'm concerned that the appointments process for bishops is biased against atheists.
In the Church of England? You can't be serious!