Lord Bonkers' Diary: Fifty Shades of Earl Grey

This should keep the literary types among you happy, though I doubt that Ofsted will be so pleased.

Wednesday

History is all the rage on the electric podcasts, so I have taken advantage of the papers in my library to write a revisionist biography of a leading Whig statesman. You wouldn’t believe what the fellow got up to! 

I won’t say it’s racy, but I happen to know that the Well-Behaved Orphans have got hold of a copy of the manuscript and are loaning it out to my domestic staff at half a crown per chapter. “Coo!” one young inmate complimented me, “That’s the only book I know what falls open at every page, Lord B.” 

So, if you fancy having a flutter on who’ll top the spring bestsellers list, back my forthcoming Fifty Shades of Earl Grey.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week

• Wah-wah brass and boings on the timpani
• Meeting Count Binface in Westminster