Lunch at my club with my old friend Tinchy Stryder. Following his success in what my more hep acquaintances call “the hit parade”, he has more than once sought my advice on the investment of his new-found riches. I have, for instance, been able to point him in the direction of a Good Thing in Rutland Railway Consols.
Today he informs me that he is determined to invest in a Liberal Democrat MP, but cannot make up his mind which. Whom would I recommend?
We run through the possibilities: Alan Beith? “I fear you may not be quite His Sort of Thing.” Hazel Grove? A lovely girl, but perhaps a little too racy for the staid Tinchy. Mark Oaten? I have to explain certain delicate matters to an incredulous Stryder – several times.
Eventually we hit upon the perfect answer: Norman Lamb. He has an agreeable manner, a most lovely constituency and, I am informed, a large majority. I shall have the papers sent over to Tinchy by fast bicycle tomorrow.
Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West, 1906-10.
Previously on Lord Bonkers
- Monday: Swine flu parties