Sunday, September 11, 2016

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Piracy on Rutland Water

No doubt we shall soon hear Lord Bonkers' thoughts on how the Liberal Democrats can revive their electoral fortunes. Meanwhile...

Piracy on Rutland Water

I recently heard a Conservative politician who has been Members of the European Parliament since they were 14 say that Brexit will make us a “buccaneering” nation again. Well, we remember those days hereabouts and dark they were indeed.

Merchant vessels carrying Stilton and pork pies out of Oakham across Rutland Water were set upon by pirates, who stole their cargo, made the crew walk the plank and went “Arrr!” in a most annoying fashion. (I suppose they wanted they wanted the foodstuffs to feed their parrots.)

I grant you those days were not without glamour: every Rutland schoolboy knows the story of how one of my ancestors ordered a footman to lie down in a puddle so that Queen Elizabeth would not get her pretty shoes muddy. Yet every fair-minded person will admit that the elimination of piracy in Rutland is one of the European Union’s greatest achievements and entertain no wish to see its return.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10

Earlier in Lord Bonkers' Diary:
  • How the Liberal Democrats can revive their electoral fortunes
  • While I enjoy my Caffè Bellotti
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