Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Digging up the Bonkers' Arms car park

Yesterday Lord Bonkers gave his reaction to the death of Margaret Thatcher on Liberator's blog. Today it is time for us to begin another week in his company.


I rise early to superintend the excavations in the car park of the Bonkers’ Arms. Having seen how well Leicester is doing out of Richard III, I have decided that we need to find a body of a king here in Rutland too. So far, our dig has not come up with the goods: all we have turned up are a few shards of medieval pottery, a Victorian penny, some pieces of clay pipe (which I suspect belonged to Meadowcroft – or was it his grandfather?) and two skeletons with blue rosettes – we have a tradition of robust electioneering here in the Bonkers Hall ward.

I am saddened by this lack of progress, and a complicating factor is that we have to have everything put back by Friday because that is the day the Smithson & Greaves lorry comes. If it cannot make its deliveries, we shall all be reduced to drinking the dreadful gassy Dahrendorf lager.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

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