Lord Bonkers' Diary: Foxes stalk the Inns of Court

And so another week at Bonkers Hall draws not quite gracefully to a close.

Sunday

Britain in 2020 is a nation in fear. Foxes stalk the Inns of Court armed with baseball bats looking for QCs to attack and giggle to one another about this “silk bashing”. If it were not for my narwhals basking on Rutland Water and my gamekeepers and their orchard doughties, I should feel afraid myself.

I am also comforted by the presence of PC McNally as he alternately clips youngsters round the ear and helps old ladies across the road. The other day I saw him forget himself and clip an old lady round the ear. She fetched him such a wallop with her duck-handled umbrella that I doubt he will make that mistake a second time.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary:

• Well, it was December
• A generous dose of phosphorous about its jaws
• Congratulations to the Duke of Sussex
• Enormous quantities of honey
• The Alexandra Hall Hall Hall
• Luciana Berger di Lammermoor