Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Lord Bonkers' Diary: "A drop of What-killed-Aunty"

You see? They don't call the Wise Woman of Wing 'wise' for nothing.

And I am indebted to Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch for the expression 'What-killed-Aunty'. (For some reason I omitted the hyphens and capital letters in the version I sent to Liberator.) It occurs in the opening chapter of True Tilda.

So thank you, Q.


To the village, where I find the queue for Mr Patel’s shop wrapped three times round the green before it disappears into the churchyard of St Asquith’s and the fields beyond. Who should I find surveying the scene with satisfaction but my old friend the Wise Woman of Wing? 

“It’s this new energy drink I’ve produced with the Elves of Rockingham Forest,” she explains. “It’s an old recipe of mine, and they’ve added some of their secret herbs – and a drop of What-killed-Aunty, I shouldn’t wonder. Whatever they’ve done, it keeps the punters coming back for more.” 

When I inquire into the business side of the project, she becomes animated. “I’ve had my solicitor go through the contract with a nit comb, dearie. There isn’t going to be any nonsense about High Elven Law meaning they’re entitled to an extra twenty per cent this time. It’s strictly fifty-fifty all the way.”

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary

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