Lord Bonkers' Diary: The Procurator Fiscal at Dingwall

It was a very opportune telegram for the old boy. I'll say no more than that.

When I was on holiday in Scotland years ago there was a story on the local TV news about a man who had gone for a walk in the hills and dropped dead. It ended with the words "... and the Procurator Fiscal at Dingwall has been informed." I have always remembered what an august personage he sounded.

Saturday

Two weeks have passed since that Friday’s Unfortunate Events. It happened that I received a telegram the next morning that begged me to lend my experience to our campaigns in the Highlands of Scotland, so I had my bags packed and was off to my Scottish home at Brig O’Dread at once, leaving strict instructions for the village green to be thoroughly cleaned. (Fortunately, I know some former associates of Violent Bonham Carter who are acknowledged experts in the field.) 

When I reached the Land of the Mountain and the Flood, I wasted no time in taking to the doorsteps. There I received a great reception, but took the precaution of wearing a false moustache over my real moustache lest I attracted attention and someone reported me to the Procurator Fiscal at Dingwall. 

Yesterday’s results showed that I was able to tip the balance as my summoners had hoped, but it would be ungenerous of me not to pay tribute to the part in my success played by Alex Cole-Hamilton.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

• A cloud passes over the sun
• In return for a chunky donation
• Drinking gin with Matron
• Bouncing through custard on a Spacehopper
• Too close to the wicker hare

"My name's Cole-Hamilton. Alex Cole-Hamilton"

It's not just Ed Davey who was approached by MI6. Alex Cole-Hamilton reveals in a notably friendly interview in the Scottish Sun that he was too:

Alex Cole-Hamilton could have been driving a James Bond-style Aston Martin instead of a second-hand electric Mustang – if he had chosen to join MI6.

The leader of the Scottish Liberal Democrats has revealed for the first time how he was tapped-up by the secret intelligent service when he graduated from uni.

But Alex turned his back on life as a spy for the British Government due to his Quaker religion – who believe in non violence – when he was told the information he gathered could potentially lead to the loss of lives.

We've all watched enough Tinker Tailor and Slow Horses to know that life in the intelligence services is nothing like that, but what is it about Liberal Democrats that attracts the spooks? Or is it that spies are attracted to the Liberal Democrats?

I wrote in one of my Journal of Critical Psychology, Counselling and Psychotherapy columns:

When Paddy Ashdown first surfaced in the old Liberal Party, it did not take the press long to notice his intriguing background. A former special forces officer who joined the diplomatic service and was appointed first secretary to the United Kingdom mission to the United Nations in Geneva? How obvious can it be? It was from Geneva that our agents behind the Iron Curtain were run.

There were those in the party who worried that Ashdown had been planted on us by the deep state, but as he was so much more appealing than anyone we had come up with ourselves, most were happy to welcome him. Besides, given our sometimes fractious relations with our partners in the SDP/Liberal Alliance, it was comforting to know we had someone who could strangle Dr David Owen with his bare hands if it came to that.

 And I still consider Paddy and Jo Grimond as the two best Liberal leaders of my lifetime.

Alex Cole-Hamilton names three Highland seats the Lib Dems can win back in Holyrood election

Scottish Liberal Democrat leader Alex Cole-Hamilton says his party can “win back the Highlands” from the SNP at the 2026 election, and such a victory would be the “story of the night”.

That's a report from the website Ireland Live. (I know, me too.) And Alex went on to name three individual seats:

He said Lib Dem analysis of the general election results showed these three seats – Skye, Lochaber and Badenoch; Caithness, Sutherland and Ross, and Inverness and Nairn – all falling to the Lib Dems.

Referring to the incumbent MSPs, he said: “Kate Forbes, Maree Todd, Fergus Ewing. Three current and former SNP ministers.

“We are coming. We can win those seats.

“And conference, that would be the story of the night – Scottish Liberal Democrats winning back the Highlands.”

He also told the conference that other Conservative MSPs are set to follow Jamie Greene in crossing the floor - or "moving around the arc", as Andy Maciver terms it in the Spectator - to join the Lib Dems.

This is a development that wouldn't surprise Maciver either.

Lib Dems set their sights on retaking Charles Kennedy's seat

Writing in the Herald, Kathleen Nutt says the Liberal Democrats is seeking to take back Charles Kennedy's old seat of Ross, Skye and Lochaber.

Kennedy lost the seat to the SNP's Ian Blackford in 2015 after a bitter local campaign. Blackford has recently announced he will be standing down as an MP at the next election.

Lib Dem ambitions are boosted by the strength of the candidate they have in place, the prominent entrepreneur and local councillor Angus MacDonald:

The businessman opened Fort William’s first cinema in 15 as a gift to his home town and also runs a bookstore while his son, Archie MacDonald jointly runs The Highland Soap Company, which opened a multi-million base in 2020.

Cllr MacDonald was named Scottish and UK Entrepreneur of the year in 2017 and founded The Caledonian Challenge endurance walk, which has raised £13million for local charities. He is also a published author.

And there is plenty for the Lib Dems to campaign on. The SNP's centralising tendencies - Scotland now has a single national police force, for instance - look less benign when viewed from the Highlands than when viewed in Edinburgh:

Scottish Lib Dem leader Alex Cole-Hamilton will be campaigning in Fort William today with Highland councillor Angus MacDonald.

Ahead of the visit to the town Mr Cole-Hamilton accused the SNP of overseeing "a complete dearth of infrastructure spend" and making do with an ageing ferry fleet.

"For years, the SNP have removed autonomy from Highland communities, cut council budgets and singularly failed to stand up for rural issues," Mr Cole-Hamilton said.

"Ian Blackford and the SNP have overseen a complete dearth of infrastructure spend and the north and west Highlands have had to make do with an ageing, creaking ferry fleet while new vessels fall ever further behind schedule and budget. ...

""Angus will protect jobs, create opportunities and secure a better deal for people right across the region.

"He is already campaigning tirelessly on the issues that matter, such as replacing the Belford Hospital, rejuvenating local high streets and improving the A82.

"The residents of Ross, Skye and Lochaber deserve so much better than a centralising SNP and years of nationalist neglect."

After all, it was the Tories who promised to 'Stop the Boats' and not the SNP.

Lib Dem views on the state of the party in Scotland and Wales

Writing on his blog A Scottish Liberal, Andrew Page has responded to Alex Cole-Hamilton's declaration that he is cheerful about the future of the Liberal Democrats.

Andrew is more fearful than cheerful:

When we talk among ourselves we have so many obvious selling points, with progressive, redistributive policies from UBI to federalism. We want to radically overhaul the way the UK works. We believe in a localism that empowers communities.  

But voters don’t hear that and it isn’t simply a by-product of limited media coverage but an unwillingness to shout about who we are. It’s as if we’re scared to take risks in case we lose what little ground we already have. 

And so, instead of communicating bold, radical visions for an alternative future we end up focusing on anti-SNP tactical squeeze messaging. That was never a recipe for growing the party, however much it helped grow the vote in North East Fife and Edinburgh Western.

Down in Wales, Democracy Coma is worried about the party too:

Poor leadership, vacuous messaging, a weak manifesto, no strategy for gaining votes to speak of, a poor digital presence and not even any freepost literature in most constituencies – whilst deeply sad for many hardworking candidates and campaigners, for the party as a whole the results were deserved.

They were also entirely predictable. We have failed to learn anything whatsoever from election results in Wales at all levels of government over the past 10 years. The party has made many mistakes in this time and arguably before that but has chosen to hide from them rather than address them. We can do this no longer.

And it's also worth looking at a Twitter thread from Stew Elliott on how we Lib Dems fared against the Green Party - though it may not make you feel more cheerful.

Scottish Lib Dems target their lost heartlands

The Quiraing, Skye

The Scottish Lib Dems' election co-ordinator Alex Cole-Hamilton is notably bullish in an interview for Scotland on Sunday.

He says: "We’re very excited about the prospect of a general election whenever it comes."

Among the former Lib Dems Westminster seats he lists as good prospects are Charles Kennedy's old seat of Ross, Skye and Lochaber; Aberdeen South; Argyll and Bute; and North East Fife.

There's more:

The traditional stronghold in the Borders seat of Berwickshire, Roxburgh and Selkirk – which the party held for decades – is also in play. The Lib Dems are even confident of muscling their way into the Edinburgh North and Leith, the seat held by the SNP’s Deidre Brock.

What is most encouraging is Alex's claim that "It’s true to say that the Highlands are rediscovering their liberal traditions."

Viewed from a distance, the Scottish Lib Dems have so far based their welcome recovery on emphasising their unionist credentials. It is good to see them going beyond that.

Tavish Scott talks to Alex Cole-Hamilton

You can find more videos on the Scottish Liberal Democrats website.