Lord Bonkers' Diary: Feed him to the Ailuropoda melanoleuca

“What does Lord Bonkers think of the proposal to supplement the diet of Edinburgh’s Ailuropoda melanoleuca?” – Zoologist, Edinburgh

I take it that you refer to the scurrilous song about the Chief Secretary to the Treasury and MP for Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and, indeed, Strathspey that is going the rounds. I have no time for That Sort of Thing and there is no truth in the rumour that I have been known to whistle it if I come across Danny Alexander at Westminster.

As to Ailuropoda melanoleuca – or the giant panda – I was once sent one by a grateful People’s Republic of China. And quite delicious it was too!

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary

• A reply to two Nick Cleggs
• The governance of Rutland
• Admiring the first Lady Bonkers' obelisk
• Advice to E. Bandymill
• The Rutland fig