Sunday, November 06, 2016

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Big shoes to fill

Back in Rutland, Lord Bonkers find things are not running smoothly.


A fraught day at the Hall. First Cook tells me that she has received a better offer from Channel 4 and proposes handing in her notice. I am obliged to up her wages considerably to ensure a continuing supply of her delicious cakes.

Then my housekeeper confides that the new washing machine she has bought is proving less that satisfactory. It transpires she was sold it by a little Goan fellow and it has never worked properly since it was delivered. Having a shrewd idea who the man was, I have myself put through to a certain office on the Eastern side of Leicester and have it out with him.

I need a pint of Smithson & Greaves after that, I can tell you, but when I arrive at the Bonkers’ Arms I find the place in uproar. A party of clowns from the circus that has just pitched its tents on the village green is huddled in the snug – it seems they came for a quiet drink and found the locals rather on the scary side. I am obliged to act as peacemaker.

Afterwards I get talking to the clowns. Did you know it is very much a family trade? As one put it to me: "My father was a famous clown. Those are big shoes to fill.”

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Earlier this week in Lord Bonkers' Diary:

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