Saturday, June 15, 2024

Lord Bonkers' Diary: The Convent of Our Lady of the Ballot Boxes

Lord Bonkers has resumed command upon his return from Africa. I've a feeling we've had an entry about Well-Behaved Orphans being photographed for candidates' election addresses before, but as it presumably happens at every general election, I stand astonished at my own moderation.

I'm always pleased to see nuns appearing here, particularly as these ones aren't immediately devoured by wild beasts. I've a feeling the Convent of Our Lady of the Ballot Boxes may prove to have legs.


Not surprisingly, the calling of a general election has turned things upside down on the Estate. In particular, my Home for Well-Behaved Orphans is besieged by political candidates of all stripes and sexes looking for a photogenic child or two to appear in the family photograph on their leaflets. (Any male candidate who wants a wife for the photo is referred to the Convent of Our Lady of the Ballot Boxes in a particularly remote part of High Leicestershire.) 

I do hope Matron has been off the gin in my absence, because her record-keeping can be a little slapdash. As a result, the 2005 general election saw the same child appear on leaflets in three neighbouring East Anglian constituencies, while in a Lowland seat the Labour and SNP candidates had been blessed with identical identical twins.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

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