Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Stabbing an iguana with a toasting fork

I'm loath to criticise my employer, but I'm not sure this is Terribly Fair. After I gained Market Harborough North in an historic by-election, I became quite friendly with my Labour opponent, who was a member of the Rutland Morris Men.

I went round with them one Saturday afternoon as they performed at a couple of village events, and I don't think I've ever drunk so much beer in my life.


Who should be in the Bonkers’ Arms this evening but our local side of morris dancers? We chuckle over the events of 23 April – the day before I flew to Rwanda. You may recall that Keir Starmer had written to Labour’s general election candidates urging them to “fly the flag” and mark St George’s Day “with enthusiasm”. 

Hence the arrival of a couple of unfamiliar faces on the village green that Tuesday, for what could be a more appropriate way of celebrating England’s patron saint than morris dancing? (Stabbing an iguana with a toasting fork, I suppose, but the villages where that rite is still observed are few and far between.) 

I’m afraid that, being morris virgins, our Labour visitors came off distinctly second best when the sticks began to fly. They may have limped away muttering about St George being Turkish and “cultural appropriation”, but it was good to see them Making An Effort.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

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