Lord Bonkers Diary: The students are revolting

I am taking tea on the terrace when I notice an unruly mob struggling with the door the tradesmen’s entrance. I hurry over to give them a piece of my mind.

“We’re students,” they say, “and we’re looking for that Nick Clegg.” It soon transpires that they are jolly cross with him – tuition fees and so forth.

“Now look here,” I say. “In the first place, this is private property: in the second, you are all pulling at a door marked ‘Push’. Let me assure you, you won’t find Nick Clegg in the Hall.” I may, quite inadvertently, have winked at this point.

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Talking of Clegg, I wouldn’t see the fellow starve. I have Cook rustle him up a cold supper and summon a Well-Behaved Orphan to take it to him in a wicker basket, with the promise of shiny new sixpence if he is quick about it.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

Earlier this week

• Telling The Truth
• Nick Clegg in the boathouse