Sunday, November 22, 2020

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Buffy the Umpire Slayer

The old boy has taken to shooting his radio whenever Simon Mann moans about the over rate - "Fella should watch prep school cricket if that's all he cares about" - but I find today's entry admirably constructive.


How to interest the young idea in the noble game of cricket is a problem that has long troubled our greatest minds. Some have seen shortening the game as the key, hence such innovations as Twenty20, The Hundred and matches of one over a side, but I beg leave to demur. Let us keep to the formats that fill a summer’s day or five, but make it a little more exciting for the youthful spectator. 

With this insight in mind, I have been in negotiations with some of our leading television production companies. The outcome is that next year you will be able to watch a supernatural drama in which teenagers battle the forces of darkness in cricket. 

So one week you will see a Minor Counties scorer prevailed upon by said forces to award the home side extra leg byes, while the next will see them tempt an England women’s prospect deliberately run one short in a close finish. In the series finale, one of the most respected figures in the game will be identified as the satanic mastermind behind these diabolical acts. 

I am sure you will agree that Buffy the Umpire Slayer is bound to be a great success.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers Diary...

1 comment:

crewegwyn said...

Wouldn't a better over rate make the game better?

(Ducks for cover) (Or some other fielding position)