Lord Bonkers' Diary: The Marxist Groupuscules XI

And it happened again this week! Don't tell me now that the old boy wasn't on to something. I, for one. shan't feel confidence of the permanence of Bazball until progress is made on the issue he identifies here.

Incidentally, as I recall, Doug Walters was always caught in the gully when he played in England.

Thursday

I can hardly bring myself to write I am so angry. Our new King was visiting York today – birthplace, it happens, of our own Vince “High Voltage” Cable – and a member of the assembled crowd launched several eggs at him. 

It’s not that I’m outraged at, you understand: for much of their reign, the first four Georges couldn’t venture out of the palace gates without being pelted with rotten cabbages – and quite right too! 

No, what angers me is that Every Single One of those eggs missed its target. 

What has happened to English cricket? I can remember the days when an Anarcho-Syndicalist XI could take on and beat first-class counties and the touring Australians would count their fixture against the Marxist Groupuscules XI as among the hardest they faced – I remember poor Doug Walters being comprehensively yorked by a Molatov cocktail at the Griff and Coton Ground, Nuneaton. If the Marxists could have agreed on who their captain was, they would have been stronger still. 

But this is a time for action not for reminiscing: I am off to supervise fielding practice at the village school.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

• No camel could have sacrificed his penis in a finer cause
• "A mulligatawny is pleasantly warming at this time of year"
• "What about the Young People?"