Monday, June 30, 2014

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Nick Clegg and Vince Cable at the Bonkers' Arms


Who should telephone but Freddie and Fiona? “We’ve been told to organise a press event in a pub this morning so that Mr Clegg and Vince Cable can have a drink together and show they are really best friends despite what everyone says,” they explain. “But the trouble is, we don’t know how to do it.” “Why ever not?” I ask. “Because we are too young to go into pubs.”

Cometh the hour and all that, so I step in and organise things for them. “There’s a pint of Smithson & Greaves Northern Bitter each for Clegg and Cable,” I tell them when they arrive at the Bonkers’ Arms, “and that dreadful, gassy Dahrendorf lager for the journalists.” “Oh no,” they say quickly, “we can’t have journalists at a press event. What happens if they write something nasty about Mr Clegg?”

I talk some sense into them, thought I must admit the press pack does get rather frisky when the lager starts to flow. I show Clegg a loose window in the Gents that he can climb through, before leading Vince Cable along the secret passage that leads from the cellar of the pub to the Hall, where we enjoy a hearty luncheon.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.

Earlier this week...

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