Lord Bonkers' Diary: The inside story of the fall of Tim Farron

The new Liberator is on its way to subscribers, which means that it is time to spend another week in the company of Rutland's most celebrated peer. We begin with the inside view on recent events that we have all been waiting to read.

Monday

I have seen active service in two worlds wars (details still hush hush, I am afraid). I was at the General Post Office, Dublin, when the Easter Rising broke out (I had only gone in to buy a stamp). I went canvassing in the Wythenshawe and Sale East by-election. But never have I seen scenes like those I endured at Westminster that afternoon.

It began in the Lords’ tearoom, where there was the usual grumbling about the state of the world and the manners of young MPs these days. Soon our discussions took on a darker tone. “Fella’s from the North,” said one peer. “Keeps talkin’ about his children,” returned another. “Did you see him with Andrew Neil? Terrible performance.” “He’s a God-botherer.” “Let’s debag him!”

“Now look here,” I began, “I know he would tear the pews out of St Asquith’s and have us all singing ‘Shine Jesus Shine’ given half a chance, but he has many good….” I found myself addressing an empty table. The posse, clad in ermine and tweed, was off down the corridor to the Other Place. There they found poor Farron, who was forced to leap from his office window into the Thames mud to preserve his life.

We Liberal Democrats pride ourselves on electing our leaders by one member, one vote, but should we not pay some attention to the way they are removed from office?

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.