Friday, June 21, 2019

Lord Bonkers' Diary: A bicyclist arrives from Kettering

The only downside of the appearance of a new issue of Liberator is that it signals another trip to Bonkers Hall.

As his lordship explains, we join him at his European election results party. Things are moving quickly in politics at the moment, so we are journeying back to a time when Liberal Democrats still poked fun at Chuka Ummuna.


The bells of St Asquith’s long ago chimed midnight, but no one shows any sign of going home. I am writing these lines in the Green Ballroom here at the Hall as my European elections celebration party takes place around me.

A cheer goes up. Chris Davies and Jane Brophy are returned in the North West. Another cheer. Caroline Voaden and Martin Horwood are home in the South West. Then a bicyclist arises from Kettering, where the East Midlands account is being conducted, with the welcome news that Joan Hunter Dunn is back in the European Parliament.

Freddie and Fiona are here, wrapped in blankets with their feet in mustard baths. Even so, I fear they have each caught a cold after their soaking in church yesterday morning.

“I have been talking to Chukka, and he is very interested in a pact with the Liberal Democrats,” says Fiona. “Obviously, we’d be the senior party.”

“Chuka?” I ask.


“Bless you,” I reply.

Of course, you now want to know how the two of them came to be soaked at Holy Communion yesterday…

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

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