Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Frozen haddock, fashionable yoghurts and Bjork CDs

You may recall - you probably don't - that there was a controversy in August over whether Britain exports pork pies to Iceland and Thailand. The conclusion, as far as my researches went, is that we used to in a small way but don't any more.

Lord Bonkers, as so often, has a different take on the matter.


Those who believe we do not export pork pies to Iceland should take a stroll along Oakham Quay, as I did this morning. The Arctic Fleet was newly in port, its rigging still sheathed in ice.

If I am honest, our local delicacy is a hard sell in Reykjavik as the locals prefer a slap up meal of decaying shark, but we still maintain the trade. The ships I saw this morning had returned from Northern waters laden with frozen haddock, fashionable yoghurts and Bjork CDs.

As a young man I was involved in the illicit pork pie trade, smuggling them into the United States in defiance of its petty regulations. Disguised as lumberjacks, we floated rafts of them across the Great Lakes.

Today, I prefer to look for less dangerous markets – an old Thai friend of mine tried a pie only the other day and pronounced it delicious when fried in a wok with garlic, lemon grass and holy basil. I leave for Bangkok next week.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary...

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