Monday, September 09, 2019

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Young Liberals have been dressed as sheep

Events are moving quickly at the moment. The last time I heard from Lord Bonkers he was holed up with the King of the Badgers ready to give his life if Boris Johnson's tanks came rolling on to his land.

Picture conditions there as something between Rogue Male and The Wind in the Willows.

His diary in the new issue of Liberator, by contrast, beings on the eve of the Brecon and Radnorshire by-election.


It’s good to have the smell of cordite and unwashed activist in my nostrils again: I have placed myself in command of a committee room on the front line of the Brecon and Radnorshire by-election. It seems only yesterday since that fine actor Roger Livesey captured the seat for the Liberals, but today we must win it all over again.

Every preparation has been made. Crack platoons of knockers up have been dispatched to every street on my patch; sharp-eared Young Liberals have been dressed as sheep and given instructions to lurk outside the other parties’ HQs to see what intelligence they can gather.

A shout goes up! A Brexit party aircraft has been sighted over Talgarth. I give immediate orders for our ack ack guns to be manned (by women, as it happens) and ring the local RAF station to have a Hurricane sent up.

When the polls close we shall be able to look ourselves in the eye and say we have done everything we can to secure victory for Jane Dodds.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West 1906-10.

No comments: