Friday, September 21, 2007

Lord Bonkers' introduction to the Liberator songbook

As ever, there was a new Liberator songbook on sale at the Brighton Conference.

Someone asked if it wouldn't be greener of us to encourage people to use last year's book. In our defence, we pointed out that we do recycle the songs.

One thing that certainly was new this year was Lord Bonkers' introduction:

Bonkers Hall
Tel: Rutland 7

Those of us who have long fostered links between Liberalism and the world of popular music were cheered by the news of Lembit Öpik's engagement to the Cheeky Girls.

And what jolly girls they are! Because they jiggle about so, I have never been sure quite how many of them there are - indeed, I am not convinced that Lembit knows himself - but there is no doubt that they will prove both a boon and an ornament to our party.

There are those, I know, who have question Lembit's decision. How, they ask, will it be received by the voters? Some fear in particular the reaction in Montgomeryshire where, they reason, the voters do not like That Sort Of Thing.

How short people's memories are! Have they forgotten my time as the Liberal Party's "spin doctor" in the 1950s? The better informed amongst you will know that whilst fulfilling that role I engineered a romance between Clement Davies and all three of the Beverley Sisters.

Far from its provoking disapproval, the goodwill this story generated enabled our candidates to come within hailing distance of saving their deposits in several by-elections and Davies himself comfortably retained his seat - the very one now occupied with such distinction by Lembit Öpik.

Reading this new edition of the songbook I am cheered to find that all my old favourites have been included. It would be a nice gesture, however, if space could be found for the Cheeky Girls' "The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)" in future editions.


You can find his lordship's introductions from 2005 and 2006 on this blog.

Meanwhile, Lord Bonkers is consulting his legal advisers after being described as "a sub-Lord Gnome character" by the Guardian's Ros Taylor.

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