Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Lord Bonkers' Diary: “Still single? Yngle!”


My unfortunate experiences in Peking notwithstanding, I have to admit that the Olympics were great fun. The important thing now is to continue to interest our young people in all these new events we have discovered. With this in mind, I have agreed to act as a consultant to the British Yngling Board.

You must know yngling: it’s the sport that is sweeping the nation. I would go so far as to say that, at a party, if you wish to mingle, a good opening gambit is “Do you yngle?” I intend to build upon this with a poster campaign; I envisage a picture of a worried man with the caption “Still single? Yngle!” and another showing a sporty young lady captioned “I tingle when I yngle”.

Add to this a new snack named Pryngles, an event at Dungeness under the title “Yngle by the Shingle” and an episode of Emmerdale in which the Dingles yngle, and I think you will agree that I am more than earning my corn.

People who like This Sort of Thing should now read:


Anonymous said...

According to the Norwegians, who invented this type of boat, the name is pronounced more like 'ooernling', which doesn't work quite as well :-)

Jonathan Calder said...

According to Lord Bonkers, yngling was invented on Rutland Water in the Middle Ages and only later exported to Norway.

dreamingspire said...

One assumes that he has been at the para-lympics keeping the British end up. With that streamlined profile, surely he has been able to para-glide in just at the right time to award the gold medals? Then he can offer to sponsor 2012 olympic sports, such as fishing for errant orphans in Rutland Water.