Monday, June 21, 2010

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Minister for Outer Space

The latest issue of Liberator should be with subscribers about now, so it is time to spend another week with Lord Bonkers. He was, as he frequently reminds me, Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.


Another early start in Whitehall. What? You've not heard? Why, I am the Minister for Outer Space in the new Coalition Government! The position had been earmarked for poor Lembit, but on election night everyone learned what I have long suspected: the people of Mid Wales do not care for That Sort of Thing.

So here I am poring over my red boxes and undoing Socialist mischief by the hour. Already I have dispensed with the requirement for visitors from other galaxies to have identity cards and this morning I cancelled an expedition of North London social workers to Alpha Centauri designed to educate the inhabitants out of colonialist attitudes.

Next week I shall be off to Woomera, whence Raymond Baxter blasted off in Coronation year to become the first Englishman in space, and then I shall be talking to David Chidgey, once the fearless pilot of the Liberal Democrats' own spacecraft the Bird of Liberty, about getting our party into space again. The old crate has been in a barn on the Bonkers Hall Estate for some years, but I am sure it can be put back into service once we have found somewhere else for the chickens to roost.


dreamingspire said...

Going through family photos, I found that its 100 years since my grandparents got married. Honeymoon in Silverdale. Doubt if they noticed Lord Bonkers losing his seat - too preoccupied with other things, and Rutland not their scene at all.

crewegwyn said...

Lord B didn't lose his seat; it mislaid him surely?

David said...

Surely Lord Bonkers had to leave the Commons when he inherited the peerage and went to the Lords to battle the Tory hordes in the year before th Parliament Act.