Thursday, June 02, 2011

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Fox, elf or seal?

Another day at Bonkers Hall...

An elderly man sits in a large house behind high walls watching films of his earlier triumphs when a group of American Navy Seals breaks in and shoots him dead. Dash it, it could happen to anyone!

Osama bin Laden (who met his demise in Abbottabad, named after the popular comedian Russ Abbott) was, it has to be admitted, one of nature’s bad hats, but his demise did make me think.

Only the other evening I was watching my speech to the Hunstanton Assembly of the National League of Young Liberals in 1948 (“If we tighten our belts, put our shoulders to the wheel and our noses to the grindstone, we shall regain the sunlit uplands before the year is out...”) when I heard a noise outside.

I went to look. It turned out to be a fox (or perhaps a stray member of the Elves of Rockingham Forest), but what if it had been a herd of those seals? I am not altogether surprised that the American Navy is making use of them: if they are anything like the Great Seal of Rutland, who can give you a nasty nip if you rub him up the wrong way. I give word for the shutters to be locked, barred and bolted this evening – it’s not as if I have the first Lady Bonkers on hand to defend me.

Earlier this week

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