Lord Bonkers' Diary: Under the dining table with a bottle of my best cherry brandy

Another week at Bonkers Hall. I intend to make the diary entries individual posts this time, but apologies in advance if my new caring responsibilities mean they come out in lumps.

Anyway, our first entry finds our old friend combing the Bonkers Hall Estate. He doesn't find anything, but it looks much neater when he's finished.

Monday

Another depressing day searching for the leader of the Liberal Democrats. As no one has seen or heard of Ed Davey for months, I have given orders for a search of the whole Bonkers Estate to be conducted.  No stone has been left unturned: 

Meadowcroft’s potting shed, the crypt under St Asquith’s, the cellar of the Bonkers’ Arms and even the shaft of an abandoned Stilton mine have all been scrutinised, but we have found neither hide nor hair of the man. 

When two Well-Behaved Orphans go missing, it is a good bet that they will be found either at the railway station standing on one another’s shoulders in an adult’s overcoat or under the dining table with a bottle of my best cherry brandy. I have personally searched both locations and did not find Davey at either of them.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.