Thursday, July 28, 2016

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Ryan Coetzee's barbecue at the Hall 1

Lord Bonkers begins to give his account of a notorious evening.

Ryan Coetzee's barbecue at the Hall 1

Looking back on the affair, I should have entered a firm nolle prosequi when Freddie and Fiona telephoned me proposing a barbecue at the Hall as a thank you to everyone who worked on the side of the angels in the recent unpleasantness. However, I dithered and, sensing weakness, they put Ryan Coetzee on the line. I suggested various alternative ways of raising the morale of the troops, such as a party at the Smithson & Greaves Brewery, but he was adamant: “I’m telling you, man, there’s nothing like a brai.”

So it was that, a few days later, the great and good of the Remain campaign made their way up my drive. The Rutland weather, as it so often does, obliged with a warm, still evening. All in all, it was a glittering occasion.

My doubts reawakened when I learnt that Coetzee proposed barbecuing a whole wildebeest to feed the growing throng. “Are you sure you will be able to cook the thing through?” I asked. “Of course I will, man,” he returned. “We just need to get a good blaze going.”

That he certainly did, aided by a pallet of unsold copies of Ad Lib that I had arranged to be sent up from Great George Street. It’s just that, as I did point out at the time, he had sited that blaze Terribly Close to the Hall.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Previously in Lord Bonkers' Diary
  • I'll be damned if I'll pull out of Europe
  • Beware of faragespawn
  • Liberal Democrat titans of the 2010 parliament
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