Friday, June 10, 2022

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Locks, bars and bolts

With Lord Bonkers back keeping an eye on his estate, things really have returned to normal.

And you know what this entry is? Topical satire, that's what.

Locks, bars and bolts

A working day on the Bonkers Hall Estate: the hedgerows are creamy with May blossom, the horse chestnuts are alight with candles and all is right with the world. 

When I call at one of my farms, the tenant is busy putting heavy-duty locks, bars and bolts on his tractor shed. He explains that of late he has been pestered by Conservative MPs, who hang about the place at night and try to force entry. I lend a hand and am confident that no one will interfere with his Massey Fergusons again.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week


Matt Pennell said...

I called the head of commissioning at Channel 4 once and pretended to be a member of the Lib Dems federal board, got put through immediately. I proposed shooting an episode of 'Kinky Britain' about Tractor exhibitionism and voyeurism. He replied, 'Even by your standards this is exceptionally silly, I know it's only 9am but are you drunk or high?'

Who's laughing now eh?

Jonathan Calder said...

It's at times like this we miss Jack Hargreaves.

Matt Pennell said...

I should imagine that both Jack Hargreaves and Percy Thrower would've had some incredible contributions to make to Kinky Britain, if asked. They both had brilliant creative minds!