Crossbow stops play at The Oval - Lord Bonkers comments

Like all cricket fans, I was shocked when a crossbow bolt was fired on to the field at The Oval yesterday.

But Lord Bonkers writes exclusively for Liberal England:

I recall a tense finish many summers ago in a match between my own XI and the Elves of Rockingham Forest. Clodagh Rodgers straightened one, hit the High King of the Elves on the back leg and bellowed an appeal. 

The umpire, Judge Christmas Humphreys if I recall correctly, put up his finger, whereupon an elven arrow was shot clean through his hat. He called the batsman back. 

I did not make a fuss, as it is best to keep on the right side of the elf fellows. Besides, Richard Wainwright cleaned up the tail with some short-pitched bowling.