Lord Bonkers' Diary: Instead of Big Ben

The arrival of a new Liberator does not just mean a few tempting morsels from Radical Bulletin. It also means it is time to spend another week in the company of Lord Bonkers.

I'm very sorry, but there is nothing I can do about it.

Monday

When I heard that Big Ben was to be silenced for four years, I wasted no time in telephoning the Director General of the BBC to suggest they broadcast the chimes from St Asquith’s instead. Their tone is certainly distinctive and, though the clock is apt to run a little slow, that can easily be remedied by adding pennies to the pendulum (or is it by taking them off?)

I fear, however, that I received short shrift from the DG: "It’s not in London, is it?" After giving him my opinion of Simon Mann’s cricket commentaries and John Humphrys’ disinclination to retire, I put the phone down on him.

Incidentally, a more radical choice would be the stables clock here at the Hall. It is complete with a small carillon and plays tunes such as 'The Land,' 'Woad' and 'Hurrah for Lord Bonkers!' on the quarter. (The horses seem to like it.)

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South-West 1906-10.