Perhaps the old boy and I were still smarting from the Liberal Party's decision to merge with the SDP at a special conference in Blackpool two years before - we both voted against. You can find more evidence of my animus against the town in the Wikipedia entry for the Norbreck Castle Hotel.
Saturday
There are some phrases that strike terror into one's very soul. Worst of them all - worse even than "See me in my study after Prayers, Bonkers" or "The next commentator will be Christopher Martin-Jenkins - is "Welcome to Blackpool".
My low opinion of this dismal caravanserai is more than confirmed when I discover a seagull expiring on the balcony of my hotel room - the air of the town (largely an admixture of plutonium dust and sewage) having proved too much for it.
I grasp the first heavy object that comes to hand and put the unfortunate creature out of its misery with a single blow. I am left feeling sorry for the bird but pleased to have at last found a use for a Gideons' Bible.
Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.
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