Saturday, January 30, 2010

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Keep it under your hat


My diaries, as I am aware, enjoy a wide readership everywhere from the clerk’s desk to what that fine fast bowler John Snow termed “the corridors of power”. I must therefore ask all my readers to keep what follows under their hats lest in fall into the wrong hands.

We are informed by the government that our troops must continue to occupy and be killed in Afghanistan because if we were to withdraw then al-Qaida would return to that country and reopen their terrorist training camps.

However, a terrible thought hit me whilst I was in the bath this morning: what happens if al-Qaida hits upon the plan of Going Somewhere Else? I reflected, as I retrieved my loofah, that this would render our forces’ presence in Afghanistan otiose. We must hope that these al-Qaida fellows do not take many baths, because if they do our goose may be cooked.

As I said, keep this under your hat.

1 comment:

dreamingspire said...

I really cannot work out which year M'Lud is writing about. Xmas day just gone was a Friday, you see. Not that I suspect that his brain (nor the harvest of eggs on the estate) is addled, but perhaps well oiled so that memories become more mobile. The diary does appear to have been written very recently, but I'm gratified that he is not reporting the raising of a militia to go and invade Yemen. And his use of otiose is evidence of his great wisdom - even 50 years ago its use to indicate 'sterile, futile' was described as 'rare'. Others of course are saying the same thing, although they use more frightening words, suggesting the enemy appearing in our midst. He's right of course.