Monday, March 15, 2010

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Living with Mark Oaten

We have had my article on 20 years of Lord Bonkers (part 1 and part 2). Now it is time to pass another week at the Hall.


As a responsible landlord here on the Bonkers’ Hall Estate I never cease to be appalled by the low standards that pertain in the public sector. Yesterday evening I watched a documentary on the electric television about a family with six children living in a tower block in Barking, and watched it with manly tears in my eyes because those poor people had to contend with poverty, damp and a violent neighbourhood.

Worse than that, they had Mark Oaten living with them!

This morning I call the London Borough of Barking and Dagenham and demand to speak to its Chief Executive. I am told he is “in a meeting”, whereupon I suggest with some force to the young lady at the other end of the line that he leaves this meeting and speaks to me forthwith. When he comes to the phone I demand that he send out the borough ratcatcher and have Oaten removed. As I write these lines, confirmation arrives from my spies in East London that this has indeed happened.

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