Saturday, March 20, 2010

Lord Bonkers' Diary: Candidates' photographs


One can always tell when a general election is approaching: on Saturdays a long queue of prospective candidates trails past my lodge gates, around St Asquith’s churchyard with its stately yews (and, indeed, stately ewes) and up the long drive to the Bonkers Home for Well-Behaved Orphans.

You see, every candidate needs a fetching family photograph for his election address, but not every candidate has children of his own and, even if he does, then they may not be quite what his agent requires. For this reason the Home has long derived a useful income from making the prettier orphans available to be photographed.

This year, however, I have insisted that Matron tighten up her administration: I was not a little embarrassed at the last election when the same little girl appeared on leaflets in three neighbouring Lancashire marginals and one boy was pictured with both the Conservative and Socialist candidate in a seat in the Welsh Valleys.

Earlier this week
You may also be interested in part 1 and part 2 of Twenty Years of Lord Bonkers.

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