Monday, April 24, 2017

Lord Bonkers and the Ukip gorilla lady

A Ukip candidate in Glasgow says she is sexually attracted to gorillas.

I don't know how this will go down with the voters, but I am reminded of a post on this blog by Lord Bonkers.

Explaing a viral video of a gorilla at Twycross Zoo in Leicestershire apparently dancing, he wrote:
There is nothing the older residents of the Bonkers Estate enjoy more than the tea dances I host at the village hall. 
However, we have a problem. The toll taken by the local industries of Stilton mining and pork pie production mean that many more ladies than gentlemen survive to enjoy an active retirement. 
A couple of years ago the ladies prevailed upon me to provide them with more dancing partners. After no little thought, the solution sprang upon me: train the gorillas at Twycross Zoo. 
This initiative has proved a great success. When I proposed it some warned me of the danger of ravishment, but I am happy to report that to date no gorilla has complained of molestation.


Unknown said...

Have the Gorillas been upset that they were not molested? After all they are handsome beasts!!

Anonymous said...

Interesting that the UKIP candidate was making the point that gay people should keep their preferences secret in the same way that she keeps her sexual attraction to gorillas secret - though announcing her attraction publicly rather spoils her argument.

Is it known what Tim Farron's position is on gorillaphilia?

Jonathan Calder said...

As Elizabeth I said, ""I would not open windows into men's souls (especially where gorillas are involved)."

Anonymous said...

Indeed. Though she wasn't above putting them on the rack where matters of religion were concerned.

Still, she was an adept politician. Alas, they are in short supply these days.