Lord Bonkers' Diary: Another Japanese attack on Poole Harbour

First, a confession: the idea of a Japanese attack on Poole Harbour is stolen shamelessly from Milton Jones. Second, some good news: earlier this year Jones announced he was taking time off to be treated for prostate cancer. but he is now  free of the disease and has begun touring again.

And with that, another week at Bonkers Hall draws to a close.

Sunday

When I heard there had been a fire at the Bournemouth International Centre, I naturally assumed it was the latest ruse by the party’s high-ups to justify the cancellation of our Autumn Conference. In recent years this gathering of the Liberal clans has been canned because of, variously, the Covid pandemic, the death of Her Late Majesty and a threatened bombing campaign by Isle of Wight Separatists. 

Fortunately, the excellent men and women of the Dorset & Wiltshire Fire Service slid down their poles with the utmost dispatch and extinguished the blaze before serious damage was done. And so, failing another Japanese attack on Poole Harbour, I shall see you all at the Liberator stall in Bournemouth.

Lord Bonkers was Liberal MP for Rutland South West, 1906-10.

Earlier this week

• Dallas and its notorious School Book Suppository
• "He spelt his name with an omelette"
• Streets given over to foxes and feral cats
• A fully-funded scholarship and chauffeur-driven Rolls
• A damned shame
• The two will have to be Dealt With